I'm auditioning for bands. I've found a band that plays music that I enjoy and I like being with these people in general.

However, I don't like the drummer's style. I like the drummer as a person but he always plays the same beat (regardless of the song) and doesn't understand music theory.

The music we play is fairly simple stuff (think Ramones' Pet Cemetery) but I think it could be drastically improved if he could pick up on what the other band members are playing.

I haven't committed to the band (they know I'm still hunting) but they think I'm going to stay. I'd like to stay but I think the bassist should be tight with the drummer and I don't think that's going to happen.

I'm the outsider so I'm in no position to say "fire the drummer." Nor would I want to. (Well, maybe I do.) However, the drummer is significantly older than the rest of us (he's in his 50's probably), is missing his front teeth and is usually totally drunk and stoned during practice. (Yeah, well the guitarists are usually a bit stoned too but they can still play and sing :eek: ) But I think it's a case of teaching an old dog new tricks / changing his entire style of playing drums.

Anyways, my current course of action is the stick with the band and try to "shape" the drummer into what I want through subtle suggestions.

However, I like to plan ahead. Suggestions?

Trying to change the direction of someone who's sitting still can be pretty frustrating. Also, presuming the band has been together for a while, the evidence is that the guitarists are either happy with the way the drummer works or have been ineffective at getting him to change.

What other opportunities do you have coming up at the moment? Could you just jam with these guys once every couple of months instead of 'joining the band'?

It's your call. Personally, I'd only consider doing it on a 'hired gun' basis - ie. that it would earn enough income to support other musical ventures without demanding too much time.

Wulf

Been there, done that, didn't work, even though in my case drummer was never drunk/stoned. He is not going to change, so all you have to do is ask yourself if you are willing to live with it.

If the answer is no, you have two options. Tell the rest of the guys what you think, or say Thank You but no thank you, and walk out.

There's always two reasons for a decision; a plausible one and the real one. If you don't want to hurt their feelings/burn your bridges, then think of a reason (without lying) examples are too much travelling, need more time with family, work, etc another band have given you an offer etc.

It's impossible to change someone who is happy in their rut. If he WANTED to expand, that would be one thing, but otherwise I think you'd be better off doing what CS suggests.

Geez, if the lame duck drummer wasn't enough of a FLASHING NEON SIGN saying STAY AWAY, I'd think the other two guys (drunk/stoned) would have you running for the hills.

Re-read your post and ask yourself, "Self, do I really want to be part of this trainwreck???"

Good luck!

Yeah, but's not a trainwreck. It's just a really bad drummer... :rolleyes: The guitarists I have no problem with...

They have some catchy original material and they've given me free rein over the basslines (I can be as simple or complex as I want) so it's hypocritical for me to demand something from another band member.

We're not doing this for money but to just gig and have fun. We don't have any plans yet but we found out we were hoping to do the same music contests around town.

:confused:

Personally, I would keep shopping...

"No, thank you, Sirs and/or Madams".

I say tell em you're not shure, it looks promising but you're not shure and say you wanna have a few rehersals with them and maybe a gig before you comit, that what we did with a drummer we tried a while ago but it didn't work out in the end, drummers are a pain in the posteria though, everyone knows that.

Well, I have played with them twice. The current drummer is not their original drummer, not sure what happened to the original guy. Spontaneous combustion?

So far, I've received about a dozen inquiries and auditioned for three bands. I'm still waiting to set up times for the other groups.

Unfortunately, I do other things as well so I can't be in more than one band at a time, unless the other band is really really casual. I need my downtime too.

Near perfect situation 'cept the drummer sucks. Oh well, I'll post again if something pops up... :rolleyes:

There's nothing better than the truth. Seriously, it's a good rule of thumb in almost any situation. First you have to decide if you really could stand being in this band with the drummer, which it sounds like the answer is no. If you aren't sure you could keep looking for other bands and wait for a better thing to come along, but the longer you wait the harder it will be to leave these guys.

If I were you I would call one of the guitarists and just lay it out as it is. You don't have to 'demand' anything, but just tell them what you told us in so many words. As long as you don't say anything to the drummer you're not going to hurt anyone's feelings. The guitarists can deal with the drummer and make something up if they don't want to hurt his feelings.

At that point they'll say one of three things:
1) "Thanks for being honest, but we're really good friends with this guy and besides we like his drumming so good luck finding a band."
2) "Dude, you know what, we're kind of fed up with the guy too. Tell you what, if you join the band we'll figure out a way to replace him." (I'm guessing on the "dude" part.)
3) "F you."

I doubt they'll say #3, but if they do you're better off without them anyway. But most likely it will be something like #1 or #2. Not only should they appreciate your honesty, but they should be grateful for it, you might just open their eyes to the situation and help them out.

Good luck...

Originally posted by rabid_granny
Near perfect situation 'cept the drummer sucks.

Huh? What could be worse for a bass player than being in a band with a drummer that sucks? Doesn't even beat a sharp stick in the eye, as at least that's over quickly!

szvonek's post is right on the money. You can be honest without malice.

We'll see. I promised myself that I'd keep looking until the end of January, at least. It's nice going out and meeting other musicians.

I played with the band again on Sunday. I kept reminding them that I won't commit to anything right now and they seemed cool with that. They said they were surprised that I came back for a third time.

The drummer just woke up from a nap so he wasn't drunk or stoned. He played much much better that tight. The band was tight and we didn't have any missed endings.

In light of last Sunday, I've softened up a bit. I'll keep jamming with them to get a better assessment of the situation. That can't be bad, can it?

Well, this changes everything...all ya gotta do now is make sure the drummer naps right up until it's time to hit... :rolleyes:

Here's what I see in my crystal ball. You're going to ignore all the advise you've solicited and join this band. You're going to find out rather quickly that the drummer's substance abuse problems are waaay worse than you have imagined. The train wreck, when it does happen, will be on a gig, not in rehearsal. You'll be so dejected that you'll put the bass away and start doin' the hang over at TalkAccounting.com :eek: :eek: :eek: .

Man, I hope I'm wrong about that last part. I'm not tryin' to lay negative vibes on ya man, just tryin' to impart a bit o' wisdom. Knock down those trees in front of you so you can see the forest!

Yeah, I know I know...It was really bugging me when I wrote the original post but I've mellowed out since. I didn't want to waste anyone's time but I was looking for different perspectives. It sounds worse on paper than in real life. :rolleyes:

Try this:

No, no, bobo
Bananapana fofo
Fee fie momo,
No.

Originally posted by rabid_granny
... the drummer is significantly older than the rest of us (he's in his 50's probably), is missing his front teeth and is usually totally drunk and stoned during practice.

Could you send me this gentleman's mame, address, and phone number, so I could pass it along to my ex?

:rolleyes:

Assuming you continue to have good sessions you might join them conditionally.

"Say, guys... I love playing with you. You have great material... It's just that, the drug use is going to be a problem. Can you agree not to use it when playing at least?"

Or whatever...

I wouldn't play in a band with drug users. No offense to my fellow talkbassers who are junkies ;) but the last thing I need is to go to my drummers place and find that he sold my rig to pay off his dealer. (or some such nonsense)

...a situation without a compelling reason. The drummer being in that band is an indication that the other musicians don't have a problem with it.
If you have a problem with it, Don't Join!!

Look for a gig where you have to get better to stay in the band. The last thing you want to do is have this anchor around your neck while the ship is going down.

Go for a challenge, find something that causes you to have to raise YOUR standards.

I've found myself in similar situations in the past, and I've realized one very important issue for me: I can tolerate so-so playing in most members, except the drummer. I really need to connect on some level with the drummer for me to enjoy playing. When that "click" isn't there, I find myself having less and less fun with the band.

This has happened to me in (1) a band in which I was completely enamored with the (*hot*!) female singer with killer chops and (2) in a band with a phenomenal guitarist.

It was fun when it started, but ultimately, poor drumming drove me bananas. It wasn't even poor drumming alone, but the inability or unwillingness to improve.

I can't have fun if it doesn't groove.

Well, I think I'm going to join the band after all. Although I haven't officially joined yet, I pitched a couple of musical ideas at them and they responded with some good ideas in return. That is a good sign. Plus I enjoy just hanging out with them and shooting the breeze.

Other bonuses is that we jam at the drummer's house so we can play late at night without paying for rehearsal space. The drummer's roommate is in a punk band so we can use their guitar amps and PA.

Egad, the other bands that I have auditioned for have been a disaster. Band members arguing in front of me, band members who can't tune their instruments, band members who go "Question time! Do you masturbate?" (To which I replied "Do you want a bass player or not?"), band members who show up two hours late...doh!

Originally posted by rabid_granny
Well, I think I'm going to join the band after all. Although I haven't officially joined yet, I pitched a couple of musical ideas at them and they responded with some good ideas in return. That is a good sign. Plus I enjoy just hanging out with them and shooting the breeze.


That's cool. It sounds like you found not only a band, but pals.


Other bonuses is that we jam at the drummer's house so we can play late at night without paying for rehearsal space. The drummer's roommate is in a punk band so we can use their guitar amps and PA.


Very cool. I have a complete set of gear at my house also. I like being able to practice whenever. Also, my neighbors have all been very supportive. Even across the street, my elderly neighbor said something funny. "I don't like your music, but I like that you play."


Egad, the other bands that I have auditioned for have been a disaster. Band members arguing in front of me, band members who can't tune their instruments, band members who go "Question time! Do you masturbate?" (To which I replied "Do you want a bass player or not?"), band members who show up two hours late...doh!

Yowie. That is pretty lousy.

I am actually in a bit of a pickle with my band because they are not nearly as serious / dedicated as I am. Also, something that really bugs me is that we aren't "friends". We just get together and play, then go home. But there is no real comraderie, no playing around, no hanging out, no real fun but for the playing itself.

I always had this image of bands being close friends... I wish it were true. It would make playing together that much cooler.

Originally posted by Gabu


I always had this image of bands being close friends... I wish it were true. It would make playing together that much cooler.

hey man, that's the way it should be IMO. Personally I don't think I could stay with a band if I wasn't friends with at least a couple of them. I assumed that was the norm...maybe you should shop around too...!

As the spotlight swings around to Gabu...

I'm sorry but I find some very disturbing things in your description of this band. For instance a 50 year old guy with multiple substance abuse problems that still has roomates and plays with cats 20 years his junior just screams to me to RUN AWAY! He may be a great personality and fun to be around but somewhere, sometime, this guy is going to flake. I just feel it in my bones.

And my advice to your original title/question is no matter the reason, if you turn down a band, do it in a tactful and polite way. I always thank groups for the opportunity because you never know when or under what circumstances you'll run into them later.

>>> "...band members who can't tune their instruments, ..."

Hey, we've gigged with those guys ! :rolleyes:

Granny, you've got to keep looking man. Keep practicing and taking lessons to elevate yourself to the level of a band where everyone, or at least the drummer, is at your level or better. I have only played in bands who were much better than me. It really forces you to progress and it sure is a lot of fun musically.

This slackassery of theirs is going to be reflected in poor business too - not going about getting gigs properly or at all, burning bridges through sucking or unprofessionalism, etc. This ain't a huge city - you don't want to be known as the guy in that band that [insert problems caused for venue here]."

Me, I am known as the guy who comes correct with very pro bands that are on time and conduct their business responsibly and most importantly who put on a very solid show. It helps open doors for myself and for other projects I am in. "Hey thanks, I'm glad you like the show mr. club owner ... I also play in this other band and we'd love to play here..."

Like I said on pg1., The Gerogia Straight is almost nothing but bass player wanted adverts. Keep checking those - and nevermind bands that don't already have good material written and a history of gigging. Do not play with a poor drummer. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME !!!

Be open to playing any style as long as the band is good. Go to local band's shows and if you see a good band, shake their hands, buy them a drink, and mention to whomever seems to be in charge that you'd love to play in their band or any good bands you know that might need a bassist, then give 'em your card with contact info. Maybe they're ready to boot their bassist. Maybe they've recently gigged with a hot band that's now on the sidelines for lack of a bass player.

Have you heard us on CFOX :) Have you been to one of our gigs yet? For shame !!! We have the best drummer in rock & roll this side of Ginger Baker, and that's a fact. When you see & hear our guy play, you will understand what a good drummer means to a band and to a bass player.

Oh well, I've signed on for the short term. Personally, I would really like it if they booted out the drummer. (Oops, did I just say that).

The guitarist and singer have been friends for over 10 years. They gave me a few recordings and demonstrated the ability to write original pieces that are simple but catchy. I get along with them well and the co-writing process has been really easy. The singer and guitarist have their act together...

But the drummer...oh help me. The drummer was adding only recently (last 4 months) through the paper as well. I let the singer know that I joined despite my reservations about the drummer. The singer is the unofficial band leader and he is also concerned about the drummer f*cking up live. If things don't improve over the next few months, I'll probably give them an ultimatum - me or him.

I've met a few drummers during my search, maybe I could steal them!!!

But yeah, no improvement in the situation and I'm going to bail.

Double oh yeah, I'm trying to be as professional as I can during my band search. I respond to calls as soon as I can, I don't turn away people over the phone and I'm going to call people that I turn down. I guess I should start that soon...